An Update of Sorts

It has been forever since I popped into this old blog of mine so I thought I'd give you an update of what we have been up to.

We are coming out of newborn bliss over here. Norah turns 4 months old this week. It is safe to say she is the most popular girl in the house right now, except for when it comes to riding in the car. Girlfriend HATES the car. She also hates pacifiers. Which is killing me. She is mostly breastfed which is also blowing my mind. I've never nursed a baby this much or this long. It is so special to me to get to experience what this is like. Those quiet moments we have together while nursing are my favorite. When she isn't nursing she gets a bottle of formula. Usually once a day. My supply isn't huge, this I know, so I don't pump unless for some reason I can't nurse her. So she gets a little of everything. It is nice. I don't feel overwhelmed or a lot of pressure like I did with my past two because she is fed, and fed is best.

I'm also happy to report I haven't experienced PPD like I did with my last two births. I guess this time I really didn't allow myself to. From the beginning I was able to recognize it and handle it before things got hard. The moment I felt overwhelmed and recognized those familiar feelings I began taking my antidepressant and talking about my feelings to others and I've been in a really good place.

One of the other things I've been working on is self acceptance. Realizing my body is different after three kids and learning to love and accept that one. I'll admit I'm guilty of looking in the mirror and picturing myself at 22 and I'm not that girl any more. I'm softer, my shape has changed, and I have a few gray hairs. But what a gift it is to have this a body. What a gift it is to get to age. That is what I try to focus on when I'm beating myself about how I look. Another thing that really helped me with acceptance was a huge closet purge. I went through all of my clothes and got rid of the things I knew I wasn't going to wear, or that didn't work for my new body and donated them. The best part about that was getting to shop for new things. It is amazing when you dress yourself right how much more confident you become. People don't see sizes when they look at you but they do see confidence.

Harper & Finley are doing great. Finley turned 3 this summer and Harper turned 5. I know. They are all grown up. Its ridiculous. The two of them have showed me a lot of grace when dealing with Norah. They have been great with me having to spend more time with her than them (most days) and they are both the BEST big sisters. Norah thinks they are hilarious. Most days Harper & Finley are the best of friends but I have also never seen people fight the way they do. There is some fierce love between the two of them. The teenage years should be fun, right?

I'm honestly in disbelief at how fast the summer has gone. Maybe that is what having kids does to you? Or at least what having a baby does to you. I have been clinging to this summer though. Time needs to slow down. Deployment is coming and my heart feels like it is breaking. I don't want to wish away the next year yet I do. I hope the moments are slow but that the time goes fast if that makes sense.

So that is where we are right now, and what we are up to. How has your summer been?