Its Monday and I'm Still Pregnant

I have officially surpassed every date that the doctors thought I wouldn't make it to. I'm okay with it. I mean I have to be. It isn't their fault. They are just going off of the signs my body is showing. But little miss just isn't ready.

Today marks only 10 days until her due date. If she is anything like Harper she'll will probably surpass that. I'm trying my best to stay distracted. I have been getting out as much as possible. I even went to see The Fault in Our Stars and I didn't get up the entire movie even though I had to pee like an hour in. I just couldn't miss any moment. I'm glad I didn't get up. It was beautiful and absolutely perfect and I cried a crap ton. Just as I expected. Then over the weekend we attended the local Strawberry Festival in town and celebrated Fathers Day with both our sets of parents. I thought something would send me into labor. But it did not. What I am learning though is I cannot over do it. If I do go into labor I need that energy. If I go on a huge long walk every day my hips and back want to kill me. Oh man do they hurt.

This is all just so different to me this time. When I was pregnant with Harper the scary part was her coming out. Life would be harder then. But with Finley it seems as though it will only make our lives easier if she would just come out!

The end of pregnancy is just a total mind game. It really is. You try not to focus on it but you know it is coming. You know what lies ahead and it is a bit scary but incredibly exciting. Certain aspects of it just get so old. Every time you are out people ask when you are due. Or they joke about you popping. Or they ask if it is twins. It doesn't help the situation at all. I know I'm very very pregnant. Okay. Then there is the fact that I feel like I'm the most annoying person ever. Every time I have a contraction I think this could be it. Or I talk about how much pain I am in. Or I whine because she isn't here. I apologize but when you are waiting to push something out your lady bits it is a little thought consuming and hard to talk about anything else.

In a few days I hit 39 weeks. I'm curious what my doctor will say at our weekly appointment? Probably how are you still pregnant? Today is the start of a new week. Will it the the week? Only time will tell. Good news is we will see our baby girl sooner than later. Until then just ignore my whining.

The Waiting Is The Hardest Part

My dad took this picture and shared it with me saying he thought of me and to hang in there.

I feel like I look just like this bird. My husband and I can't help but laugh at it on a daily basis. Is this pregnancy over with yet? 

You see, I'm incredibly frustrated and trying not to be. I was told by not one but TWO different doctors that Finley would be making an early arrival so naturally she isn't here and honestly I should be okay with it. I'm still 2 weeks, and 4 days out from my due date and I know the longer she "cooks" the better, I just wish my doctor's wouldn't have said anything at all. I wish I didn't know that I was dilated to 4cm and 80% effaced. I wish I wouldn't read online that other women have gone into labor not as far a long as me. Every day, every feeling I have, I think it is go time. I truly think if the doctors wouldn't have said those words to me my thoughts would still be consumed by her arrival, but maybe just not as intense.

You see with Harper I was induced. I never felt the things I'm feeling with my pregnancy with her. There was one night with some really bad back pain but that was it. The day I was induced (she was on my gallbladder) I was just over 40 weeks. They started the first round of pitocin and never had to boost it again because low and behold I labored on my own. I would never be induced again (unless medically necessary) but our experience with it was a good one. Sure when I was induced I felt contractions but the whole day was kind or a blur to me. So I honestly feel stupid. I don't think I'd know if I was in real labor or not so this only adds to my frustration. Every one says though that I'll just know. And I hope I do.

I'm honestly just tired. I never anticipated so much pain this second pregnancy. I waddle, I don't walk. My hips and pelvis feel as though they are about to fall off. There are sometimes I have to wait a few minutes before I take a step because I just can't walk. I am too exhausted to chase my almost 2 year old around and I don't sleep anymore. I miss sleep. I also am experiencing this new pain where I feel like they area around my belly button is a huge bruise. It hurts so bad. Try sitting up with that. Oh, and of course its normal.

I'm anxious and I'm nervous. I want to be ready. But I guess I'm as ready as one can be. The hospital bag and boppy pillow are waiting by the door. The car seat is prepped. I'll just keep my fingers crossed that one of these days the contractions will be the real deal.

I know she'll be in my arms sooner than later but nothing can distract me at this point. I'm going to continue to check my attitude. I have become very grump lately and no one deserves that. I'm so happy that we are welcoming another member to our family. I know pregnancy is a gift. I really truly do. I just think the end of it is a crazy time.

But seriously though, is she or isn't she coming?