Babies On The Brain...

I have come to really love my role as a mother. I talk about it a lot. Once you become a parent life changes. It changes for the better. You bring this child into the world and suddenly everything is better. Waking up in the morning, better. Meal time, better. Holidays, better. It is just that good. 

Because it is that good and because we have survived parenting for a little more than a year conversations have started to drift to thoughts of having another baby. Some days we are ready and other days we are not. I know we are not in control of this but it is hard to time things. Or I guess to know when the time is right. 

Part of me says now. Now is the time. I'm young. I have the chance to be at home. I've got this. What is one more? The other part of me says no. This is Harper's time. I need to bask in it for a few years. When I start to watch my friend's families begin to multiply, part of me thinks I need to be doing it too. But if I'm being really honest I hit a lot a bumps when pregnant and after giving birth to Harper. and I want to make sure I'm fully recovered and ready before I go through that again. 

Whenever we decide to expand our family it will be wonderful. That doesn't mean it has to be right away. For now Harper is my focus and boy she needs it. She is quite the handful, in a good way. She is  always keeping me on my toes and I adore her for it. She is no longer a baby though. Each day she looks older and older.

When I'm not occupied with Harper I turn the focus on me. Before our family of three becomes a family of four I want to be in a good place physically, and mentally. I want to eat better and work out more. I know if I have another baby that the weight gain, on top of the weight not lost from Harper will be harder to get rid of. It is so important to me that I be healthy.

The fever. I have it. But believe me I'm not ready and I know it. Life is beautiful right now as a family of three and just keeps getting better. Our family will someday grow but right now i'm just going to relax, well, as much as one can with a 13 month old. My joy/ stress ratio is pretty good and I'm not sure ready to alter that. But don't think I don't think about it.

Sometimes...

I think I have baby fever. Perhaps it is because I'm at that age of my life that it seems like everyone is having babies, babies, and more babies. But then I remember that I don't like that I almost do laundry daily. That I can't relax because my spawn is getting into things she shouldn't be getting into. That she has currently climbed up on the entertainment stand and is now pulling on the cords that she shouldn't pull. Or that she is spitting on my face while I feed her dinner because she thinks its funny. Maybe I shouldn't I have laughed at her.

Lets not forget to mention how much I miss being able to watch a movie in its entirety without having to hit pause. Or how much I miss the quiet. I mean I can't even get ready without an audience. And why is her favorite game, "lets see how loud I can yell"? Or lets throw everything, and my least favorite-- mom let me drop this and you fetch it.

Then she distracts me with all the good stuff. The giggles at the simplest of things. The hugs when I least expect them. Discovering the world and joy that it brings her. She is the perfect combination of her father and I. The conversations and the laughter she brings to every day are the best, even when she is annoying us--and trust me your child can be annoying.  But we made her and that my friends is awesome.

She is ours and when I look at her all I can think is, why wouldn't I want to do this again? Who knows... if this fever keeps up #2 could be here before we know it. And you know what? We would be  so lucky!!

I'm Not a Bad Parent, I Swear....

Did I ever tell you that I have had a few people cringe and tell me they are worried for me and my husband and our baby? Well it has happened more than once. But you know what? Their reasons for making those types of comments are dumb. I think my husband and I are going to be great parents. We are just taking what I like to call a more "laid back approach".

For starters we didn't not go all Martha Stewart and create for Harper the worlds most beautiful extravagant nursery. She has a room, car seat, stroller, swing, and a place to sleep. I doubt she is going to throw a fit when we bring her home from the hospital and she doesn't have the elephant nursery theme that is currently all the rage. Our little space for her is cute enough. Besides we live on a military base and we are moving when she is around 6-7 months old. FYI--I do not have anything against nurseries. I have seen amazing ones I just don't understand what the point is, it is not like the baby knows.

The second time I received that comment was when Harper had a baby shower. Apparently my husband and I didn't register for enough things. I didn't realize that for baby showers you were supposed to register for everything from newborn to like 2 years old. I don't even like registering for things and I feel weird being gifted a crap ton of stuff. We registered for the things we knew Harper needed in the first year and received plenty of wonderful things. If we missed something my husband and I are perfectly capable of going out and purchasing things when that time comes. We are just focused on getting through the first few weeks right now.

Then there is my stance on toys. I don't want our child to have a lot of toys. As an infant she doesn't need them. She needs food, sleep, and someone to change her diaper. I doubt she will be wanting to pick up the legos anytime soon. Besides I'm old fashioned. The new toys out there scare the crap out of me. I want my child to read books, play with blocks, and go outside and use her imagination. So I'm sorry our nursery isn't also a Toy R Us.

There is just so much that worries me about becoming a parent. I want to do enough but I don't want to do too much. I don't want to create a sense of entitlement in my child. Which is something I see a lot of now a days. Children don't feel like they have to work for anything. In schools everyone gets to play sports and everyone gets awards so they don't feel left out. This to me is crap. This does not make me a bad parent.

I'm going to be the parent that teaches her daughter life isn't fair. That you aren't entitled to things, you earn them. Just like you earn respect and trust. She will do chores and find ways to earn her own money if she wants something. She won't get an iPad just because everyone else has one. I will check her text messages, what she is doing on the computer, and games she is playing. As long as she is under our roof it is our house our rules.

At Harper's baby shower a few months ago. I think we are going to be great parents.

So are my husband and I bad parents because we aren't giving our infant the world? I think not. I think we are on the track to something great. Even if everyone around us can't see it. I think I'm just getting to the point in pregnancy where I'm tired of everyone's advice and commentary on what we are doing. As first time parents don't we have the right to figure it out for ourselves? Believe me if we need something we will come asking. Until then just let us try it our way.

I hope this post isn't taken the wrong way. Everyone parents differently. To each their own. This is just my opinion and it isn't meant to offend anyone.