Transition

Transition is defined as the movement, passage, or change from one position, state, stage, subject, etc. to another. Currently I feel in limbo as we are in this stage of transition. I'm such a passionate person with everything I do so usually that means I don't like these in between phases. At times like this I tend to worry to much about the future. I go over things repeatedly in my head and pretty much drive myself crazy.

Yesterday my friends came over and we had coffee and I very excitedly announced that my husband's estimated final day of class was only 2 months and 10 days away. As soon as the words left my mouth I realized how ridiculous I sounded. Here I am sitting around with my favorite people, sipping away on coffee, and not fully being in the moment. It finally dawned on me yesterday. My inability to live in the now.

So last night I spent most of the evening being hard on myself. I went to my cranky place. A place I hadn't actually been in awhile. It wasn't pretty so I decided I needed a change. This morning I have a better attitude. A better view on life. I'm embracing the in between. We will eventually be moving. I will eventually be transitioning back to Montana. I will eventually be decorating our new home. But right now there is a lot of wonderfulness happening and I'm going to enjoy it. Every minute of it. I'm going to do what makes me happy. I'm going to spend as much time with my friends as I can. I'm going to enjoy the present uncertainty because who knows what is going to happen after this? Besides right now I currently have the most amazing people in my life to do it with. What could be sweeter?

Just Be

The best parts of every day.

I am one of those people that looks for signs. That prays for them. That needs to know that what I'm thinking or feeling is okay. I don't do well with uncertainty or change. For the past 2 years of my life I feel like I really haven't handled it well. Starting with our move to Alabama (a change), and then becoming pregnant (another change), and lastly becoming a mom (a big, BIG change). You see I like to be in control but i'm learning to let that go. Everything keeps changing whether we are aware of it or not.

Even right now I sense change in the air as we are about to embark on our one year Alabama anniversary. One year later we are now starting to talk and think about the transition back home. Even though this is exciting it is still yet again change. There is also the uncertainty of where in Montana we will be living and what we will be doing. But instead of clinging to the false security of fixed ideas and tribal views I have I'm going to do something different. I'm going to live an authentic life. I'm going to relax and enjoy just being human.

This means understanding everything changes. Nothing last. I'm going to let go of What ifs. I'm going to work on being fully present each and every day. Live my life in the moment. Yes we are going to be moving. Yes my baby is going to keep growing. Yes my husband and I are going to get older. These are things I cannot change. What I can do though is embrace them and love them each and every day. 

When I try to control things I become frazzled. I stop noticing the little things. I take on too many things at once. I'm always so focused on what is next that i'm completely letting what is present pass by. I think maybe that is why time is beginning to go by so quickly. These feelings just aren't good for me. So beginning today I'm going to relax, breathe, and not dwell on the future or the past. I'm going to enjoy the little things. Even the day to day tasks that seem mundane. I'm going to just be. I'm fully embracing right now, no matter what the situation in my life may be. Everyday is a new challenge and a opportunity to discover something new. How amazing is that?