Dear Harper,

We spent the day with Nana & Grandpa yesterday. You think they are the funnest. Between the two of them, the beautiful weather, the swings, and the Mississippi Mud pie you had for dessert, I think it is safe to say you had the best day ever.

I can't stop thinking about your reaction when you came walking up the street after playing at the park with Grandpa. The moment you saw me you, you yelled mommy with such joy, and came running to me with open arms. I keep replaying it in my mind. I don't want to forget it. I want you to always stay this delightful. I don't ever want anyone to steal your joy. Because that is what you are. If you had to be summed up in one word it would without a doubt be JOY.

Harper, you bring every thing into perspective for me. I have this amazing ability to be hard on myself. To deem myself not good enough. Just when I feel at my worst you snap me out of it. I'm amazed you pick up on it actually. At two and half. You always say, "mommy you not sad, you are happy". You are right Harper. I am happy.

The world can be cruel Harper. It can't make you feel a bit down in the dumps sometimes. But I always try to hold on to the good. Whenever I think I'm not worthy of things, or that I'm not talented enough, or that I'm not doing enough, you are there to remind me that I am. Every day we laugh. Every day you feel safe. Every day you feel loved. I don't know what greater things there are on this earth than those things.

Harper, as I get older I am letting go of things. My aspirations and dreams are different. They aren't as glamorous as they used to be. They aren't about wanting things. They aren't about longing for extravagance. They are mindful things. My dreams are to stay present. To live in the moment. To remain grateful. You teach me this. I don't think you know how big of an influence you are in my life.  I can't thank you enough.

I know one day you will probably feel a lot of the things that I do. That is the thing about growing up. It gets harder. But often times it is a choice we make. We choose how we see the world. Sometimes you just are sad, Harper. But that eventually passes and you are left seeing the beauty in things. I also believe that you can't experience happiness and joy without the hard stuff. The hard stuff is what makes us.

The best part about life is it gives you days like yesterday. Days where you soak everything up. Days full or warm sunshine and giggles. Days with swing sets and open fields to run in. Days where you marvel at the mountains and smile at the birds. Days where you get to sit with family and talk about life. Simple, beautiful days. Days that remind you in midst of grown up chaos, what life is really all about. Days full of joy Harper. There are so much more days like that than there are bad ones.

Please always remain joyful.

You are my sunshine. You really really are.

Love,
Mom