Coffee Talk: Catching Up

If we were to get together for coffee, I'd tell you first that I love coffee. I love it so much that I go to bed happy every night knowing I get to get up and savor that first cup of coffee the next morning. And the first is always the best. Nothing compares after that. Even more I'd tell you I love that first cup the most because usually I get to enjoy it in quiet.

I'd then proceed to tell you it has been so long since I have written and I hate that. It isn't because I don't have things to write about, because I do. It is just that these ideas come to me at the most random of times and I usually forget to write them down. But here is what has been on my mind lately.

I feel in limbo. At 29 i'm still struggling a big to figure out where I belong. A little part of me is holding on to this "younger" version of self who like to have a good time and the "older" version of me who is content with a calmer life. A lot of times I think it stems from my fear of missing out. I go out thinking that its what I want to do only to regret it the next day. You see I prefer a calmer life style. One that includes a glass of wine on my couch with my DVR, or a good book, vs a night out on the town. I am happy to close the chapter of life that includes the younger self. It was a good time but this older self is SO MUCH BETTER.

I would then tell you that I am really beginning to hate Facebook. Mostly the mommy wars. The wars on vaccinating or not vaccinating. I'm tired of reading the cruel things that people say. And people are incredibly cruel. I think that sometimes social media is ruining the world. It can be such a hurtful place. Whatever happened to being opened minded? Or what about what Amy Poehler says? You know, "good for you, not for me." Can we not agree to disagree with out hurting one another? Most parents are doing what they feel is best. Not only that but I know that most parents don't make decisions lightly, and that a lot of research, and thought goes into them. I know any choice we make for our children we do out of love. Not for us, but for them, because we love them, and want what is best for them.

After I got down from my soapbox I would then proceed to tell you about how much I love the season of life I am. How I am enjoying watching my daughters grow older, but that it comes with a lot of tears because they are indeed changing in front of my eyes, every day. I would tell you that we signed Harper up for Montessori in the fall and that I can't believe my baby could be going to school starting in August. I would tell you that while touring the school I felt strange. In a good way. In a, I can't believe I'm old enough to have a kid in school kind of way. I'm really excited for Harper. I think she will thrive in a school like environment and I will be keeping my fingers and toes crossed until I know we got in.

I would then proceed to tell you how happy I am. Happy because we stayed in Billings. Even though things were lining up to move to the Kalispell/ Whitefish area we decided to stay. Something always keeps up here and I'm glad. I really, truly like Billings. Like a lot. Our life is pretty simple these days and it is wonderful. I'm so content and I have felt this way in a long time.

Lastly, I'd want to know how you are. Really how are you? What have you been up to? What is on your mind? Your heart? And I talk a lot so coffee would probably turn into happy hour before too long. I hope you like red wine.

Happy Wednesday.