And Then It Hit Me

It hit me this morning like a ton of bricks. The reality that I will soon be a mother of two. It has been a rare morning with Harper sleeping in. Her father and I have been up for a few hours. We have been able to enjoy the peace and quiet and a cup of coffee.

In this very quiet I began to reflect on life. First my thoughts went to Harper. She is obviously in a growth spurt as evidenced by the extra sleep. Her face is no longer chubby cheeks, it is thinning out and she looks like a toddler. She has a full mouth of teeth. She talks to us. She is almost a year and a half old. That in itself is nuts. She doesn't need me as much anymore. Soon we will transition her to a new bed, a big girl one, and move the crib into our room for her brother or sister.

Speaking of that brother or sister  it is killing me not knowing what we are having right now. I keep trying to convince my husband to let us go get the gender ultrasound now since we would be able to tell. But we will wait until the first week in February when I'm in my 21st week.

But it is really happening. This pregnancy. It is really real. Maybe because Harper keeps me busy I haven't noticed it as much but this morning it has consumed my thoughts. It has given me butterflies. My one cup of coffee had me thinking about the early mornings and the multiple cups of coffee I will soon be having, and the early morning cuddles that will go along with those. Then there is the smell of a newborn. It is heaven really. I have so much to look forward to.

Maybe these feeling are coming up because recently I have also felt him or her move. So much earlier than with Harper. But it is definitely her sibling moving around down there. Every time I feel it, it warms me. It lets me know things are okay.

Or maybe it is my ever changing body. At first I was scared of being pregnant for the second time. You see I still had about 7 pounds to lose when I got pregnant again. I wasn't in the shape I wanted to be which has made this pregnancy a lot more noticeable early on than the last. But last night as I looked at myself in the mirror before bed I only saw beauty. A beautiful body that was growing another human. A brother or a sister. I love my belly. I can't wait for it to grow.I know after I have this baby I will have a lot of work to do and I'll get there but not before I embrace the miracle that it just went through.

You see this baby is just as special as our first. I can't wait to do it all again. It is time to embrace this pregnancy too.

Don't mind me...I'll just be glowing for the next 172 days or so.