Decisions

Every day we are faced with choices. Sometimes it is little things like do I want white wine or red  wine? Other times it is bigger things. Things that can affect you and your family. How we handle these decisions is up to us.

When I met my husband I didn't know what was in store for us in the long run. I just knew that I thought he was really cute and I wanted to spend all the time with him that I could and I did. I knew he was in the Army National Guard and to me that just meant one weekend a month I wouldn't get to hang out with him like I liked to. We eventually became engaged, got married, and then came the D word.  Deployment. What began as one weekend a month became me being without my husband for a year. Which then became as soon as your husband gets back from deployment we want you to pack up and leave your home and go to Alabama so we can train him to be a pilot.

The Hubs & I

What the above paragraph translates in to is me putting my life on the back burner for the military. It is hard. I have put aside finishing my degree and furthering my career. It most certainly isn't about me anymore. I feel as though for the past two years my life has been on army terms. It has caused so many mixed emotions. On the one hand I'm extremely proud of my husband and excited because his dreams are coming true. On the other hand I'm sad because I have to wait a little longer for some of the things I want to do. It just gets old and a little depressing.

This past week I was presented my old job back at home in Montana. I'll admit I got excited. The thought of the extra income and being back home among family and friends sounded amazing. But this also meant leaving behind my husband who once he came back from deployment I swore I'd never be without. Harper would also be coming with me so that meant for 5 months my husband would be without his newborn baby and his wife. Now flight school keeps him really busy so he agreed it wouldn't be the most fun but that he would be distracted enough that we could survive a few months apart. Getting home would be a chore but over the weekend I convinced myself it would be worth it. However after talking with family and friends and thinking it through I have realized it isn't. Financially yeah, it would be awesome to get ahead and pay off things a little faster. But is that was is most important right now? As I look down at this face I think not.

Harper

You see right now I have a chance to spend all day, every day with my first baby. A lot of people have to go back to work. But not me.

I get to see my husband every day. Which is something a little over a year ago that I didn't have.

I get to enjoy living here in Alabama just long enough to experience something new and then return home to Montana.

I get to enjoy my beautiful new friends on an almost daily basis to help pass the time.

So yeah maybe it isn't about me right now and I may not be able to see it, but my time will come. Until then i'm going to enjoy the ever present blessings that are in front of me right now. It will all work out eventually.