17 Weeks With P3

   I'm 17 weeks today. 17. I have hardly had time to catch my breath this pregnancy. With a two, and four year old, it has just been go go go. And it has been rough. I laid in bed the other night crying to my husband because I'm so tired, and I don't want to be tired. I don't want to have the urge to crawl into bed at 7:30 pm. I want to have energy. To feel like I've not wasted a day. I also want to love food again. Really, really, badly. To have a feeling of hunger, yet want nothing is the most bizarre thing. I don't recall ever being sick this long with my past two pregnancies so as of lately I've found it to be a bit frustrating. The good news however is this can all change in a day, and I think I may be on the upside. I'm able to eat dinner these days, and I even got wild and stayed up until at least 9 pm this past weekend.    In a few weeks we find out the gender of P3 and I'm so excited. I'm leaning towards team pink, one more girl closer to our own clan of Bennet sisters. I think if we are team blue I may go into shock. Everything thus far points to girl. My husband would obviously like to not be so outnumbered so hes convinced himself no matter what we are having a boy. Needless to say we are pretty pumped for December 16th.  
I have struggled with a bit of pregnancy anxiety this time around which is frustrating. Maybe its because I've spent a great deal of this pregnancy alone as my husband has been gone, or working. Maybe it is because I just naturally suffer from it. I just don't know. I feel with this third baby I'm more aware of every little thing going on in my body. I hate the days when my heart irregularly flutters. Which is normal of course, but when you suffer from anxiety and your heart beats a little wonky you can't help but be a little scared. Luckily it isn't often, and I of course had it checked out. I'm not going to sit around worrying. Happy to report both mom, and baby are healthy. 
17 weeks in, which is what, 4 months? Crazy. It is all starting to feel real as my bump becomes round vs the soft lumpy thing it was. At 17 weeks, I'm still down a few pounds but that will change after we have two thanksgivings this week. P3's heartbeat was 155 at our appointment last week, and he/she is a mover. Very active and always kicking. I love it because I'm finally starting to feel those flutters myself. Crazy to think we are almost halfway through this pregnancy, and though we are so busy and often distracted we can't wait to find out who will be joining us. Our last baby who we adore so very much already.

This season of life is the best.