I'm Fine, I'm Fine

I was thinking back to my post the other day. You know, the one where I threw a legit pity party, and I  decided it was completely justified, because, transition is hard, and we are right in the thick of it. I don't know how long you have been following along with my journey so maybe you know all the things about me, maybe you don't. But did you know that in the 5 years we have been married my husband and I have moved 8 times, lived in 3 different cities, two different states, and lots of apartments and houses. Just about every time a place became home the world said to us, nope, this isn't it, I have different plans for you. We've kind of become a joke to some. You know, the moving experts. I used to get quite offended but then I realized we have always been just doing what is best for our family, and maybe my friends paths have just been clearly laid out for them. For us it just hasn't been that simple.
With every bit piece of transition, I leave a part of me somewhere. I'm in Nebraska where I was born and raised. I'm our first home. The place we made ours, and then I  had to spend the year there by myself while my husband was deployed. You can find me in Fort Rucker, the place where my husbands pilot dreams came true, as did mine, I became a mother there. I'm on the beaches of Florida, laughing with some of the most beautiful women I have ever met, thanks to the army & flight school. I'm in Billings too. I'm there in my best friends kitchen drinking her coffee, feeling completely understood, the way she always makes me feel. I'm there in the nights out with my girlfriends, laughing, dancing, and singing. I became a mother for the second time at Billings Clinic, in a quiet room looking as the sunset on the Rims. I'm in my parents back yard in Joliet, gathered around the fire pit around with the family I love. I'm Glacier National Park, where I always feel peace. I'm Helena, where I have seen some of the most promising sunrises in my life, & where I get to look up in the sky and see my husband fly! I'm all these amazing places, wrapped into one. 

Our journey has been a beautiful one if you really think about it. After my pity party the other day, I convinced myself I was somehow going to go back to Billings. It was my new mission, but deep down that didn't feel right. Because it wasn't right. I've never been good at being patient. All the places I have been I have had to work to make it home, but guess what? It eventually did, and with that came beautiful friendships, community, and peace. The places we inhabited eventually became home. Home isn't really in one place. It is in the people, my people. They are home, and I have them every day. 
Today I feel renewed. This is just a season. Another chance for me to grow. I'm going to allow myself some grace. I am not going to let the fear of the future, ruin my present. I know a year from now you'll be reading posts on my blog about how much I love where I am at. I just know it. 
It is time for me to embrace the journey.