The Sun Will Rise

Eight. I think that is the amount of times I have cried in my bathroom, or in the car, or in front of the girls since moving here. Its almost been a month and most days I'm in a good place. But then there are moments when the tears sneak up on me. They usually happen when I'm missing my family or my friends. Or when I can't just quite make our new place feel like "home". Or they happen when I just can't figure out what to do because Helena isn't familiar--yet. So the tears are totally justified. That is moving. That is change. It is hard and it is affects us all. This last week however, I have noticed a certain peace come over me. I've began spending time sitting in the silence, usually while I watch the sunrise. Our current place has the most amazing view of the mountains and the sunrises are breathtaking. Each morning the sky fills with colors and I am in awe. So I sit, and I stare, even if just for a few minutes as I breathe in, and breathe out. My thoughts are clearer when I do this. It allows me to feel that I can conquer the change if I allow myself some peace. 

 You see I know this change in our family's life is a positive one. Yet I at times am so resistant to it. I feed the negative and the hard instead of embracing the light. And so far here in Helena there is SO MUCH LIGHT. Light in the form of beautiful new friendship (love you, Tasha). A friendship that lifts me up. A friendship that has put things into perspective for me. A friendship that feels like home, like the ones I had to leave behind.  Life is teaching me to choose friendships wisely as I get older. To surround myself with people who lift me up, and she most definitely does that. I couldn't have adjusted to the change without her amazing perspective on life. I have also found light in the rekindling of older friendships too. Proof that it isn't about where you are, or how long it has been since you last talked, true friendship always picks up just where it left off. Friendships give me the same feelings the sunrise does, they are beautiful and colorful and leave me in awe. That is why nourishing friendships and embracing community was my new year resolution this year. Friendships can really make the difference in a day--good or bad. So when I found out we were moving I knew I really needed to put my focus there or I would probably never feel at peace in our new home. 

One month later, I can safely say, I'm enjoying the journey, even though I miss the familiar that was Billings, so so much. I just keep walking, because I know I'm facing the right direction. Instead of focusing on the negative I'm holding on to the things that make my heart flutter, and the things that make me smile. They are simple little things, most of the time. It is the mountains, it is the exploring of our new home, and it is my husband who gets to come home now at night and isn't away all the time. It is the high I feel after working out, something I hated, which I now do for me in return making me better for them. It is in the words and inspiration I find in the books I read daily, now that I now take time to do so. It is in the simple daily moments with my daughters, messes & all. It is knowing that it isn't necessarily place, but the things, and people in my life that make the difference. When I look at life that way I have just what I need to be happy anywhere. 

One month later, I'm not sitting in the dark anymore. I know the winter will eventually turn to spring.  I know the sun will always rise, and so will I no matter where life takes me and life right now is showing me just how good Helena will be.