A Happy Candace

My heart is so full these days. So full. I used to have daily fearful thoughts that have now been replaced with happy "I really love my life" butterflies. I can't hardly believe that just a few weeks ago I was in such a dark place. Letting it all out felt so good. Crying a good hard ugly cry felt so good. It made me realize how important my feelings are. How important I am, which is something I tend to forget most days as I work really hard to put every one else's needs before mine. But this morning as I sip on my coffee I'm typing these words from such good place.

My husband and I have been married for four years this coming October. The past four years have easily been the hardest most amazing years of my life. In four years we have had 2 children, moved 5 times, survived a deployment, and survived flight school. Transition. That is probably our least favorite word. Our life since marriage has been in constant transition as we try to balance civilian life and Army National Guard Pilot life. It isn't always easy and it separates us more than keeps us together but we are slowly finding a balance.

I'm so happy to say that we are finally settling down. We are making a home in Billings and we are really happy about that. We are just an hour away from the mountains (my happy place) but thriving in the "big city". We are surrounded by family which is really great, especially for the girls who get to spend a lot of time with their grandparents, and uncles. Also some of my favorite friends in the world are here and I'm loving being close to them again and i'm excited to form new friendships here as well. And me? I'm getting out there. I recently took a job as the Director of Older  Children's Ministry at my church and I will be teaching Sunday school to two different age groups. I'm really excited for this new adventure. Excited to have something out side of mom life for a few hours a week and on Sunday's, and I'm very excited to keep growing spiritually. The girls and I are also starting MOPS this September and I am going to enroll Harper in Kinder Musik and a Tiny Tumblers class at the YMCA and we will drag Finley along with us. There are so many exciting things on the horizon for us, and so many neat opportunities in the city of Billings.

On the home front we are still living in our little apartment for now but we are starting to talk about houses. We know when our lease is up we will either be buying a house or renting one and we are excited about that. We are ready for a yard and a space where we feel excited to invite family and friends over. We are also pretty sure that, that yard needs to include a puppy.

 So yeah I guess we are in a good place. I'm in a good place. A happy place. I am feeling so much freedom since I have let go of a lot of dark feelings and that is what has brought me happiness. I'm following my own path these days and it is very fulfilling. Funny how that works. I couldn't always see it but I do now. I am in the right place, at the right time, doing the right thing. It is good for me to live in this mindset, in this positivity. It is good for my family, and my friends too. I no longer think that the only way to love myself is if others do. It is quite opposite. My confidence is growing more with each day. My life is so abundant. I'm lucky. I hope to continue to stay in this place, and I truly think I will. I'm embracing my happiness from within and it is amazing how beautiful life becomes when you do so.

Happy Friday.