I Can't Believe It

Well we made it to 37 weeks. This second pregnancy has been interesting. I had a gut feeling I wouldn't make it 40 weeks and it turns out i'm right. In fact she could come literally at anytime. After our doctor appointment yesterday they told us a week maybe a week and a half. I'm already at 4cm, 80% effaced, and she is at a -1 station. I'm definitely letting nature take its course though. Because they think she can come early I'm not going to do anything to try and make myself labor. It will happen on its own. I just can't believe it. But boy I can feel it, and I'm ready. Well mentally ready. I have done this before so I know I can labor again. The Mama Roo is set up in the corner of our living room and her bassinet currently sits beside my side of the bed. Itty bitty newborn and 0-3 month clothes have been washed and there is not one but two carseats in my car. It is go time.

A family of four. My first baby is about to be a big sister. Harper by the way is almost two (July 31st) but right now all I see when I look at her is this.

I can remember it like yesterday. I was experiencing all this excitement. But over her. My first. I can't believe she has almost been with us two year. Two wonderful years. She has taught my husband and I so much about ourselves. She has made us see the world in a different light. She is seriously so amazing. We often wonder how we did it. We have managed to raise (well so far) an incredible little girl.

Harper has the biggest heart I have ever seen. She has since she was itty bitty. She picks every toy she has up on a daily basis, hugs it, kisses it, and pats it on the back. She hugs and kisses us multiple times daily and now that is followed by I love you, which is THE BEST. She would hug every stranger if they asked her and she wants to be every ones friend. She melts me on a daily basis. She is ours and we couldn't be more proud.

As sissy's due date approaches she has become a bit more clingy to me as I cling to her. Part of me wonders if she can sense the change. Some times I worry. I know another baby will be an adjustment but then I remember how incredible Harper is to any one and everyone and I know she will rock this big sister thing. She is going to love Finley with all she has. In fact she will probably be more helpful then she needs to be. I can't wait to see the two of them together. I'm sure this will all be harder on me than them.

So the waiting game begins. Anticipation is killer. Every feeling I have that is different leads me to believe it is time. But it hasn't been yet. My body is experiencing a lot of interesting things these past few days however so I know it is coming. Another transition. Transition is always hard but it is in these situations where I learn, and I grow. Going to a family of four will definitely be that. But I'm sure a year from now I'll be writing about the fact that I can't believe we have been a family of four for a year now. Transition. You get through the hard parts, and really really embrace all the good and it passes. Eventually the scary feelings go away and behind it lies your life and it is incredible.

See you soon Finley.