Boxes

After I got off the phone with my parents today I felt bad. We had been discussing student loans. I had been crying about them. Mostly because I hate them and I don't understand how any one is able to get off on a good foot when you have to take out loans to go to school. It wasn't even the student loans that made me feel bad. I have them. A lot of them. I'll be paying them off for a long time. It was the fact that I always slip into this poor pitiful me because I never finished my degree. This however was my choice. Growing up I honestly only wanted to find someone I love and marry him and then have children. Lots of them. I wanted to stay home with them and raise them. In my head what sort of degree was there that was better than that? Then society bit me. I decided I had to be something. I mean once you finish high school the next thing everyone wants to know is where are you going to college, and what do you want to do? Then as you get older everyone always wants to know, what do you do? And these questions killed me. I felt as though I had to fit into a box.  I had to be a nurse, teacher, doctor, lawyer, social worker...something. 

It is boxes. We put every one in boxes. It is these boxes that cause us to miss out on some really neat people because we decided to devalue their worth just because society has deemed them of lesser value. Boxes make me mad and even I continue to put some people in them. I wish instead of asking people what they do, or where they work, or what they drive, that we would ask them if they have read a good book lately, or what is something that has made them happy, or proud? Wouldn't you walk away from a person gathering more about them if you asked them those questions? 

Now that I have a child (soon to be two) I think about my parents often. What they have gone through for us, sacrificed for us, so on and so forth. I know they love all of their children and are proud of us for different reasons. Not all of us went to college. Some of us did. Some of us finished and others of us didn't. But we are so awesome. I love my brothers incredibly because we are so different. I want my parents to know that even though we didn't do things traditionally that we took the best things from them. My mother and father are two of the smartest individuals I know and they are both very highly educated and I think that is awesome. But I never took that from them. What I took away from them is that they are both good people. They are kind. They are helpful. They do not judge people. They are funny and see the good in so many situations. They have a love for life that is amazing. All my life I watched them make a difference in so many peoples lives. It was all the little things they do that amaze me. It is why they continue to impact me and so many other people. I like to think I am just like them in so many ways and I continue to strive to be as amazing in my little families life as they still are in my life.

I guess what I'm getting at is boxes suck. As I grow older I keep learning that some people just can't see beyond them. Luckily I can surround myself with people who do. I made some dumb choices when it came to college and ignored some things I shouldn't have and I'll have to continue to figure it out. But I do know that where I sit today is exactly where I need to be. To some it may not be anything of great accomplishment. But to me it is. I am living my dream and doing what I love. Finishing college is amazing but even if you never did finish, I want you to know what you are doing with your life is amazing too. If you are a doctor, teacher, lawyer, scientist, you are amazing. If you are a working mom you are amazing. If you are a stay at home mom you are amazing. And since there are probably always going to be boxes I just want you all to know you are welcome in mine. Life is a lot less lonely that way. It is amazing what happens when you acknowledge the value of everyone no matter who they are or what they do. 

These days I'm living a life of joy, peace, and love. It continues to take a lot of work from within but I'm doing it. I care less and less about what others might think of me as I continue to grow as a person. Maybe that comes with age. I don't know. But I'm doing it and it feels good. 

Take that boxes.