Dear Harper,

It is currently 4:30 am. I know I can't believe I am up either but the quiet early morning hours have become my time. I still remember being up at this time a few months ago and just wanting to go to sleep. That was because you were up at 11:30, 2:30, and so on. In fact I remember sitting right where I am crying and wondering what I had gotten myself into. Wondering if I would ever get to sleep again.

Six months later it is a completely different story. Not only do I sleep, but I sleep 8 hours. And you, you sleep anywhere from 10-12. It is funny how that works out. How things change and change fast. I used to check on you too. Like every hour. No wonder I didn't sleep. Now I don't as much. I know you are okay. Somewhere between 1 month and 6 months I have found my confidence as your mother. I've learned worrying about everything does me no good. This has made things a lot easier.

Something else has been happening lately too that I can't believe. You are looking so grown up. Not only that but you do grown up things. You sit up and play. I still remember when you couldn't even hold your head up. You roll all over the place and will be crawling any day. Your favorite thing to do is scream really loud, wait for my reaction, and then giggle. Oh how you giggle. All of the time. It is the most beautiful sound I have ever heard.

Someone commented on a photo of you on facebook the other day "The next thing you know, you'll be posting prom pictures". I giggled. That seems so far away. They are right though. All of this is going too fast. You will be 16 before I know it. I wish I could slow time down. I have always been one to look forward to the future. It was always whats next. Then you came a long and suddenly I want time to just stop. I want you to stay this little. This innocent. I want you to stay my baby. A silly wish I know because really you'll always be my baby.

I'm just really grateful you are in my life. I write you these letters because I want you to always know how wonderful you are and how much you mean to me. I'm just a sap. But I kind of love that about myself. Life is beautiful. Harper you are beautiful.

Love,
Mom