"I'm sorry you didn't get a boy."
"Your poor husband."
"How is your husband holding up?"
"Will you be trying for a fourth?"
"At least you don't have to buy new clothes."
I know all my family and friends meant well, and I'll admit I played into the jokes too. But yesterday morning it all of sudden stung. I panicked. I cried because I don't get to have the experience of having a son. I cried because my husband wouldn't get to have a son. I cried because suddenly it felt like everyone I know has a boy and I don't. I cried because I thought having a third girl some how made my pregnancy less special. Then I cried because loving the baby girl growing inside of you with everything you have and having these feelings is so freaking confusing.
As a pregnant woman I'm learning you just want people to share in the excitement with you. With hormones raging and a changing body we are questioning so much. The last thing you want to hear is snark on number of children we are having, the sex of that child, and the size of our bump. We just want to hear congrats, and how wonderful.
As I emerged from the bathroom I was greeted by Harper & Finley who wanted to know why I was crying. I looked down at them and said I'm sorry you aren't getting a little brother to which my oldest, Harper, replied "That is silly mommy, I get a sister, I love sisters". Four years old and she gets the beauty of it all. It isn't about gender, its the pure joy that our family is growing, and the fact that we all get to love another person. How lucky are we?
As for my husband, he is fine. We joke a lot that our lives are just like the show Last Man Standing. My breakdown opened up a beautiful conversation for us yesterday and helped put me at peace. He loves his girls, and he is the most incredible girl dad ever. Our girls share his love for so many thing. They play soccer with dad. They talk about helicopters with dad. They watch football with dad. They even fix things with dad. Seeing them all together is my absolute favorite thing in the world. He is our favorite guy, he is our rock, and come May there will be three girls loving on him and the melts me so freaking much.
A boy and a girl do not make a perfect family and that is a stereo type I wish would go away. Boy or girl, a child is a blessing.
In my belly right now there is a beautiful baby girl and not just another girl, she is OURS. She is no doubt unique and amazing and I fall more and more in love with her everyday. She was a miracle before I even knew she was a girl. She no doubt completes us. This is our "perfect" and I love it. It is full of pink, sparkles, tutu's, moccasins, and bows. It is baby dolls, princesses, and barbies. It is full of giggles, and squeals of excitement. It is WONDERFUL.
My name is Candace, I'm a girl mom, and how sweet it is. We are #squadgoals, for sure.
Oh, and wait until you hear her name, it is so, so, beautiful.
I so know how you feel. The fact that my babies were so close together, plus it being my second child, plus it being another boy meant know one seemed to care about Crosby and it broke my heart. He was just and loved and wanted by us, so I wanted everyone in our life to share that same enthusiasm, it just wasn't there 😢 I think that's just what happens after your first baby. I, for one, am so incredibly excited for you and Baby Girl #3 and can't wait for her name!!! 💗
ReplyDeleteI am so excited for you Candace!! We decided to be surprised this time around (which is killing my friends and family haha!) I grew up with two sisters and it is one of the biggest blessings I could have ever asked for!
ReplyDeleteI was actually sad I wasn't having a second girl. So strange, how people "think" our lives should be and what they should look like. I think a family of 5 with mostly girls sounds divine:) Its your story Miss Candace. Your story. No one else's. And it's perfect just the way it is. she chose you for a reason. I love it!
ReplyDeleteI come from a family of three girls, and I love it! Now we're all in our 20s and starting to have babies of our own (my first was a girl -- and I hope she will have sisters!), and it's so nice to have built in friends. Girls run in our family and I even got comments like "oh well" when I announced my first child was a girl. I don't get it. But it's comments like those we have to ignore!
ReplyDeleteI loved reading this post and I just want to give you a hug and tell you how excited I am for you! For your pregnancy and for you finding out you are having a little girl ♥ I remember when I found out that I was having a boy, I cried. Before we found out I was hoping and praying for a little girl that would love riding horses as much as me. A little girl that would be my little mini me. Finding out that I had a boy (who would later grow up and not love any of the things that I do) sort of shattered my dreams ha ha. I had my emotional moment and now I couldn't imagine not having my son! I still wish that I could have a little girl, but I think we are doing alright :)
ReplyDelete