Momxiety

I hope this post doesn't make me seem like a crazy person but I think it is so important I write out my feelings about this at the moment. I have Momxiety. That's right- Momxiety. I'm coining my own term because momxiety is its own form of anxiety. I feel like God blessed me with the most amazing gift of all--a child and then was like have fun worrying for the rest of your life.

The worrying for me has been nonstop since she entered my life. I worry something could happen to her, to me, to her father. It drives me crazy. I don't know how to turn it off. I know that I am a good mom and doing the best I can but I can't help but want to protect her and us from everything. I also have the horrible habit of being a future dweller. I constantly want to know what will happen next.

The worrying is starting to take a toll on me. My body is stressed. I have headaches, my heart races, I feel dizzy, and I can't sleep at night sometimes. I just want it to go away however I know it won't completely.

I have made it a priority to start tackling this momxiety thing. I know the likely hood of something catastrophic happening is slim and I need to be more realistic. I know can help rid myself of some of these feelings by doing things such as taking a walk, or doing yoga. I know that I can train myself to get rid of the what if thoughts. I can talk to other moms just like I did on twitter the other day. Hearing I'm not alone in this helped me greatly. Lastly I'm going to get out and do more things for myself. I love love looooove my daughter. I can't even begin to describe how strong my love is her for. But I can't focus my attention on her all of the time.

It is time I realize that I can't always rely on my own strength and realize that God wants us to be free from worry. Sometimes I forget that God can help me handle any situation and will probably do a much better job at it than me handling it by myself. There is a reason why John 14:27 is my favorite scripture:

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."

But I also know that I am human and life is incredibly exciting and terrifying at times. But I have faith that I will eventually come to terms with anxiety and realize I have nothing to worry about and that everything is going to be okay. I can beat this.